I just wanted to write and let “the day he left us” remembered for me & myself.

After the doc had pronounced his time of death.
I feel a bit not knowing what to do next.

Until someone make “bising-bising ” saying must arrange for his burial fast.
Not that I know , this also had been arranged by someone inside the our pondok.
the one who also arranging some few BIG event before this.

so , I merely not need to actually do thing… as per being arranged are including the following item:

1. urusan gali menggali kubur.
2. urusan tempah tempat kubur.
3. imam for urus jenazah.
4. few other thing for jenazah. (kapan..sabun.. kapur.)

all I need to do at that moment was to find a “towel” which is needing a new one.
can’t reuse any existing..

time of the day is at 8.00am…

so .. first thing . get the whole family members off the hospital.
Gathering everything that we had at the hospital..
yeah.. we stayed there for quite some time..
a lot of unwashed cloth.. towel..
food .. and some dishes ..

and also my youngest brother.. Amru .
who has been sleeping the whole morning..

so.. i took the first batch of thing out .
actually one whole car & bonnet full of this.
only one or two person can fit it.
so that the first trip..
Am bringing Lisa and Fairoz home..

Abirah will follow Nasrin car and Some will follow Kak. Long Ibtisam’s car.
oh.. well.

so.. there the first trip..
then upon arriving Pondok Darilnaim..
unloading things..

talked to the one who arranging for all “urusan kubur.”
she said.. “do not worry.. we had arranged everything.. just wait for him to arrive”
only need to find a few set fresh towels..

oh .. ok.
so i went out straight away..
half-of the way.. someone called..
saying “ayah and ikram” still at the hospital..

Karim and mom is still trying to get the paper signed to get “him” home.
so.. i dozed off to hospital.
picked up “ayah and ikram”
on the way back.. stopping quite a few time looking for the new towel..
however.. i think most shop only open at 9-10am. too early i guess.

so .. we arrived at home first.
at the time I reach there.. van jenazah already arrived..
someone else had already “usung” him into masjid.

so i went there.. recite yassin once.
went out again to look for towel and few “pinggan” and “sugar”
5 to be exact. and all.
so i went out with Karim..
to “pasar Melor”..
amazingly this time.. all went smooth..
just 15minutes all thing bought.
back to home. time of the day is 10.00am.

so.. not much for to do..
until mother in laws called..
wife still at Langgar.. as MIL is coming with FIL using a bike.
so had to go and pick her up..

so.. I went there..
pick her up..
oh well.. dunno why .. it was feel like a bit too slow ..
Azri already siap..
but his mom is preparing for tudung?”
and even having gut to say :
” still early ..”
it suppose to zohor only urus jenazah..
“can we go later ?”

huh.. screw it.. blasted nicely this time..
by the time i got home this time.. already 11.30am

so quickly took a bath..
changed cloth to “baju melayu..” i was wearing jacket all this while.
so went to mosque..

just half way through reciting the yasin.
remembered Azri and wife still at my home.

oh.. Azri might want to see his grandfather for the last time..
asked my younger brother Tariq to call wife and bring along Azri to the mosque..

few minutes later.. wife arrived with Azri at the mosque..
so i took Azri.. bring him next to me..
and took turn to kiss my dad’s
he didn’t cry at all.. maybe not knowing what is it happening too..
so, i just hold him with me and recite yasin ..
as were like he used to it.. didn’t make much noise also..
so staying with me until finished yasin…

few moment later..
it was said to start “mandi jenazah”.. i think the time already at 12.05noon.

so.. i let azri to wife..
now the first time to hold my dad into bathing basin..
noticed that he was smiling…
i would had fall into a full tears.. but trying hard to hold it ..

so i hug him with three other people into bathing basin..
someone took the measurement of him earlier on..
for “kain kapan” i think..

so.. now waiting for water to be filled in..
I was invited to help to bath him as I am the eldest son.
also as a witness and guardian..
I said Okay.. i will join..
so .. after the water filled.. we start cleaning his body..
first with water.. then some soap..
and water filled with some “daun-daun”.. (i really not knowing this)
then again with water..
there are times when we had turn his body around..
so am the only one who hold tight to his body to prevent a slip..
the other two helpers is doing their job to clean up..
only 3 of us inside the bathing room..

there also time .. to push his chest get all the waste out..
that one i had to turned around.. even that was covered with one piece of “kain batik”
I also noticed there are some blood coming out from his right hand..
i think was due to some “line” for blood/medicine at the hospital.
cleaning that with some “kapas putih”..

then we used some more soap.. few round .. i think..
then pouring water.. again and again.. until satisfied..
then i think one last time is to “ambil air sembahyang utk jenazah”

then time to plug some “kapas” into his “liang2”.. such as nose..ear..
then also onto chest/abdomen .. to cover his private part..

then followed by the first layer of the kain kapan..
and closed with dried kain batik first..

then we moved him again into inside of the mosque..
for “kapan”.. this time same also.. three to four people..
one side.. i am holding right on his chest and hug along.

after transferred to ” tempat kapan mayat”..
I was completely speechless.. not need to do anything.
I just watching the helpers to complete “kapan” process..
2nd layer..
3rd layer..
and he asked for his “kopiah” and serban..

almost complete..
only the face not yet closed..
time of the day 12.45noon.
almost zohor time..

so.. helpers asked for all family member who want to kiss ..
this is the time and the last time.
after this no one is allowed anymore..
we took turn.. to kiss one by one..
until I called my wife to come in and kiss.

followed by my mom..!
that was the last kiss..

after that.. helpers closed everything.. and tied up.
one at top.. one at middle. one at the bottom..
we lift “jenazah” into “keranda” this time.

the “keranda” is then moved to front part of the prayer hall.
need to be sure on which side the head should be ..

then.. azan zohor..
we solat zohor berjemaah..
after solat zohor..
I was need to give announcement .. via imam.
“Saya wakilkan solat jenazah ke atas arwah ayahanda kepada semua jemaah. ”

then.. Imam got into in front of head..
starting the “solat jenazah” .. with four “takbir.”
followed by all of us inside the mosque that day..

then.. after that.. time to get to kubur..
we lift the keranda out of the mosque..
i took the one his left leg..
then I was looking for my slipper / shoes..
the task was temporary took over holding keranda.

before i got into my shoes..
the “keranda” already went half way out of mosque compound..
need to run a bit to catch up..

so i took over my place again..
we walked through the mosque’s gate..
got into small road..
got into small bridge..
someone asked to change with me for a while..
after few step after the bridge..
that someone pass the keranda back to me again..
i said “thanks..”
(i honestly not know who is he as never seen him before.. )
I feel like the burden on me doesn’t lift up anymore after that conversation..
(still can feel it until today.. i guess am now the HEAD of the family to took over my dad’s roles..)

then few step more.. we arrived at the “kawasan kubur”
we stopped.. and bring down the keranda right beside the “lubang kubur”.
then.. again .. I was invited to get into it and hold my dad.. (as the eldest son is most preferable to do this job)
yes.. i get into it..
and wait for my dad ..
there are three person waiting under that hole..
Ustaz Hamidi on my right .. and another dad’s friend on my left..
again am in the middle..
this time.. Ust Hamidi asked me to recite “Al-Insyirah”..
while doing all thing inside the “liang lahad..”

few moment.. dad’s body already on my hand to be nicely put into his small “liang lahad”
we slowly putting him down..
collecting some big “ketul tanah” to “hold” my dad ..
so that his body always facing “kiblat”..
then time to open-up his face part a bit.. done by Ustaz Hamidi..
need to be done by someone who knows how to do it..

then slowly we pour in some “tanah”.. inside the “liang lahad”..
after that we closed it with a piece of wood..
so .. “liang lahad” part done.
everyone must getting out of lubang kubur now.
I was a bit reluctant.. until someone asked.. “ok.. namran dah boleh naik..”
in few second, I was being pulled out quickly from the lubang kubur..
together with Ustaz Hamidi.

then … i took shovel to pour the tanah into the lubang kubur..
at first .. it look like an endless job..I was shaking.. i think because of fatigue..
amazingly .. i think I saw more people in white cloth this time.. to help me.
so a few minutes later.. it was completely closed..
the finishing part.. some flower planted on his top part of the grave..
and some “kayu penanda”.. for later part.

then.. Imam Hanafi (Imam tua) started to recite some “Doa”..
then after that doa .. all left.. we gave away the “5set of ”
pinggan/gula/kain pelekat .. to those who help to close “lubang kubur.”
after that.. i think most people left. only our family and close relatives are staying.
this time.. i can see mom.. my younger sisters.. all fall into tears..

few moment.. Imam came to me and said .. Imam muda will continue with “talkin..”.
then.. Imam Ust. Aziz (Imam muda) started with talkin…
after talkin done.. i took another moment to recite Yasin with Azri..
we pour in some water on to the grave after that..

we walked home together after that.. .. (with all family members..)
I noticed that I had never been walking there before..
and we did went through the same paddy field that we took photos with my wife during my wedding reception..
except this time.. I am holding Azri on my shoulder.. :)

Alhamdulillah.. selesai sudah segala urusan bagi dirinya…

so.. he left :

  • 1 wife.
  • 11 children. :

    . 3 working (Namran, Nasrin,Abdul Karim)
    . 3 in college & universities. (Abirah – Kolej Islam Science Technical (KIST-Bachok), Fairoz (USM-Penang) , Nura (PTPL Kota Bharu))
    . 1 in secondary school. (Faris – PMR2010)
    . 3 in primary school. (Fikri – UPSR2010, Syakira (Standard 4), Tariq (Standard 2))
    . 1 about to register pra-school. (Zahid Amru (5year-old))

  • 2 grandchildren. (Nur Nadhirah , Azri Imran)

p/s : Alhamdulillah ~ syukur ke hadrat Ilahi yang mempermudahkan segala urusan pada hari tersebut..

we did came back there for next few days..